I leave in 16 days.

It’s so weird! I will be on a plane to Colorado in less than 17 days (including today). I feel like there is still so much for me to do before I head out, like mentally prepare! I’m excited and a bit anxious. I don’t wanna leave my new home with Craig for three whole months, but at the same time this is going to be such a great experience. I’m glad Craig is so encouraging and strong. It makes this a whole lot easier. :)

I think my issue isn’t not having the right person around to talk to, it’s just letting myself put down barriers so I can talk to him. I’m going through this weird thing where I’m realizing I have all these hold backs on myself that I didn’t even know were there. I’m learning and growing everyday.

Just a thought..

I just need someone who I can talk to freely and get things off my chest. I thought Craig was suppose to be that someone…

If you have ever wondered.

The reason I don’t talk a lot is because people make feel stupid. I have a hard time interpreting my thoughts into words and I’m kinda slow at responding because of that. People just assume that it is stupidity and talk down to me. Not only that but everyone interrupts me constantly. So there you have it. Maybe I’ll find someone I can talk openly to again without feeling this way.

I’m slipping away

into that black part of my mind where everything sucks. Bills, no cell phone, no place to live… These things are just piling up and I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe if I were still working two jobs this wouldn’t be happening.

I just need to smoke a bowl and forget about it. There’s nothing I can do to fix it today, I guess.

Woken up by a single kiss.

I must say it’s an excellent way to start the day. :)